Allison Gagnon- Choicleunch

A Work in Progress

Justin and I have four unique, challenging, happy, and engaged children. I realize that, to a lot of people, that is a lot of kids. And, sometimes, it’s a lot of kids to me.

Many people often ask me, “Did you always plan to have a big family?” And my answer is always the same – we never planned to have any particular number of kids but, more than anything, I do think that we were on the same page when it came to being open to the gifts of new life, and to partnering to constantly evaluate the needs of our growing family. 

Many people often ask me, “Did you always plan to have a big family?” And my answer is always the same – we never planned to have any particular number of kids but, more than anything, I do think that we were on the same page when it came to being open to the gifts of new life, and to partnering to constantly evaluate the needs of our growing family

That said, being a mother to 4 children has been a life-giving, yet incredibly harrowing act. Just being real here.

The Simple Days

Our first child was born in 2008, when I was only 27 years old. Justin and I were ecstatic to begin our family, and my pregnancy was routine and even, dare I say, enjoyable. When our daughter Grace was born, my whole world turned upside down, just like it does for most first time parents. My needs were more simple then, Justin’s needs were more simple then, and our daughter, Grace, was a relatively mild-natured baby.

Allison Gagnon- Choicelunch
My first baby, Grace

Yet somehow, someway, I found the ability to make having one child very complicated. Hindsight is, of course, 20/20, but if I had known then what I know now, I would have most certainly traveled more, been more flexible with her and my schedule, continued more of our activities, and overall just chilled out. Geeze!

Thrown For a Loop

Just before Grace turned two years old, we were surprised with news that would drastically alter our family life as we knew it. I was pregnant with twins. Twins. I had never in my wildest dreams been so surprised, and so scared, all in the same moment. TWO babies, at once?!?! My pregnancy was somewhat routine but, seriously, I was carrying two babies, and it was ridiculously uncomfortable at times. So many limbs in so many places! When Brady and Hayden were born, life was suddenly…SO MUCH MORE COMPLICATED.

Allison Gagnon- Choicelunch
Two babies at once?

Our family had grown from a family of three to a family of five – overnight.

Just when I thought I had the whole “one kid” thing down, I realized just how much I didn’t know. Life has a way of doing that do you, right?! Experiencing mothering twins was suddenly a constant reminder that I had no idea what I was doing. The babies wanted to sleep at different times. They wanted to eat at different times. They wanted to be held different ways. They liked to nurse in different positions. They liked to be swaddled differently. I realized then that whatever worked for one didn’t always work for the other (obvious now, but not so obvious then)! These were two different humans with two distinct sets of DNA. Chalk that up to another sobering moment of motherhood.

Full Circle

We found out we were pregnant with our fourth child when our oldest was four, and our twins were two. I was in the midst of the all-encompassing challenges of raising a preschooler and two very mobile, very needy toddlers. I cried when I found out I was pregnant. Seriously. I could try and play it off to you like they were all tears of joy, but trust me – there were several other emotions wrapped up in there.

Justin was able to coax me out of emotional distress at this juncture, reminding me that all three of our children would be older and more capable when our fourth baby arrived.

“Sure”, I thought.

When our fourth child, Quinn, arrived, never had our family felt more complete.

Allison Gagnon- Choicelunch
When Quinn arrived, never had our family felt so complete.

All of my stress and worry and tears were met with utter joy at his arrival, and our other kids welcomed him with open arms and hearts. As a mother, I was able to experience our family truly come full-circle. Mothering twins as babies had been a difficult “juggling act,” and I relished the snuggles and cuddles of Quinn, who basically lived in my carrier for at least the first six months of life. He laughed when I thought he would cry. He was flexible when I thought I should put him on a schedule. And he always, always, wanted to do things far beyond his age, when I expected him to be little. Yet again, I learned firsthand that, although I knew so much, I knew nothing.

Motherhood is truly an evolution – a work in progress, so to speak. None of us are ever the same mother with our first child as we are with our second, or third, or fourth, or beyond. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I’m always learning. In this journey, we know everything and nothing, all at the same time.

Cheers, Mamas, to being right back where we started!

Hello There!

My name is Allison! Nurturer Of 4 Remarkable Littles / Married To My Own Modern Day Prince Charming / California Born And Raised / Adventure Seeker / Nature Enthusiast / Memory Maker / Food / Wine / Fashion / Sleep

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